20 Jul Ordinary People, Extraordinary Qualities!

For 43 years, Sisa Abauu Dauh El-Nemr disguised herself as a man so that she could work and support her daughter. The 65-year-old Egyptian woman, who was widowed while pregnant, was honored this March as one of Egypt’s “ideal mothers.” Over the years, she’s also gained the respect of many in her Luxor community — as one man said, “She’s worth a dozen men.”

“I was 16 when I got married,” Sisa says. “My husband passed away when I was six months pregnant. After giving birth, I stayed with my mother-in-law for 40 days. And then I was told to remarry. Remarry? And who’s going to take care of my daughter?” It was the 1970s, and the idea of a woman working outside the home was taboo, but Sisa was determined: “I preferred working in hard labor like lifting bricks and cement bags and cleaning shoes to begging in the streets in order to earn a living… I’ve worked hard, but it’s better than having a second husband. I’d rather eat dirt and feed stones to my daughter, than find myself another husband.”

Sisa was worried about how men would react to her taking on traditionally male work, so she opted to pose as a man by wearing men’s clothing — “If I hadn’t, no one would have let me work.” She also feared reprisals if she didn’t conceal her gender: “So as to protect myself from men and the harshness of their looks and being targeted by them due to traditions, I decided to be a man… and dressed in their clothes and worked alongside them in other villages where no one knows me.” Although, eventually she was able to work openly as women working became more common in Egypt, she had grown accustomed to wearing men’s garb and prefers it even today. “She even dresses this way at home,” her daughter, Houda, says.

Sisa still works as a shoe shiner and at a small kiosk in Luxor. Her daughter is now married with children, but since Houda’s husband is ill and cannot work, Sisa is proud to be able to support the family. She’s become the subject of a recent documentary, “The Untamed Shrew,” about her unconventional story and hopes it will encourage other women to become financially independent. She also appreciates that those who suspected her true identity over the decades did not stand in her way: “Thanks to everyone who has helped me. I hope to see Egypt in a better situation.”